Being wistful

More than once, Ashley has vehemently told me (and I quote) "Heyyy! Stop calling me baby!  I am not a baby anymore.  I am going to K1 you know!  I am going to tell Teacher M that you called me baby."
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I still insist on calling her baby, which annoys her to no end.. She doesn't understand yet, when I told her "Yes, mummy knows you are going to K1.  But you will always be my baby."

Yes, the pangs of wistfulness hit me now and again.  Even though I had always knew that my baby will grow up and had also known to cherish all those moments past when she was still a baby, I still can't help feeling wistful over it.  Too fast, too soon.

Friends and I were just talking about time, the other day.  I found it interesting, how we looked at it from different perspectives.  To me, time flies and I commented "Very soon, it'll be another 15 yrs gone by.  And my girl will be all grown up and I'll be old.".  To my friends, they commented "Wow, can't imagine working for another 15-20yrs..."

As I grow older ( and wiser >.< ), I begin to lament the passing of time and wish I wouldn't grow old so fast.  No doubt, I don't deny that I don't like the idea of growing old.  Who does?  The paradoxical thing is that when I was young, I wished and wished that I'll grow up fast and begin to live my own life, the way I want it.

I understand how my child feels when she puts her foot down and demands that I stop calling her baby.  In her young mind, she's not a baby anymore, in the literal sense.  But what she has yet to understand is that she'll always be my baby (even if not literally, then figuratively).

The "wait"

Ashley : Mommi come, write write with Ashley.
Mommi : Wait, Mommi do things first.

Ashley : Mommi come, sit sit here (pats sofa).
Mommi : Wait, Mommi cook dinner first.

Ashley : Mommi come, go bed bed.
Mommi : Wait, Mommi (just sat down on the sofa) wants to watch TV first.

I realised I tell Ashley to "wait" very often.  At times, i will think in 20yrs, the roles will be reversed.  Ashley will be the one to tell me to "wait".  And I could be dead while waiting (morbid huh?).  So, nowadays, I will CONSCIOUSLY put aside the chores on hand n just spend 5mins with her, doing the activity that she wants - be it writing/colouring, watching TV, playing ball.  I don't want to always make Ashley wait for her Mommi.  Surprisingly, this works so well.  Rather than just telling her to "wait" which may lead her to throw a tantrum n hv negative feelings, I'll tell her, "Mommi play with you for 5mins , then Mommi got to go cook dinner ok?".  And her reaction - beams at me, nods her head, n we both enjoy our 5-mins of playtime.


5-mins of my time = forging the precious bond between mom n daughter

(taken from my Samsung Omnia II while we were camwhoring, love it!)

Cold Turkey for Ashley

I am not referring to the bird. I am talking abt subjecting Ashley to cold turkey treatment by banning her from pacifier-sucking.

It was our 1st visit at The Kids Dentist. During the initial Q&A where Dr Rashid wanted to find out more abt Ashley's history, habits, diet, etc, he'd confirmed that pacifier-sucking AFFECTs how the teeth are grown. "Some parents said it didn't hv any harmful effect on the way their children's teeth grew." - to this statement, Dr Rashid said it's not true. The most likely reason why it did not have any "so-called" harmful effect on the teeth development is bcos of the way the child sucks on the pacifier and the frequency of sucking.

Before checking on Ashley, he mentioned that he usually advises parents to stop their kids from pacifier-sucking latest by age 5, and that we shd also heed this advice. After checking on Ashley, he said Ashley's teeth development is rather badly affected by pacifier-sucking and we shd stop this asap. Hopefully after stopping, the teeth development will improve. He told me maybe it's not feasible to go cold turkey and would be better to set a deadline n allow the child to be mentally prepared for it.

Now that I know this, how can I still allow my Ashley to suck on pacifier? (internally, i likened this to allowing a person to smoke, while knowing smoking is harmfully). I couldn't do it the soft way, so I did it forcefully. I explained to Ashley many times over the day abt how her teeth would spoil if she continues to suck on pacifier (tt's the easiest explanation i could think of). Luckily, she understood and even though she put up a little fuss during naptime/bedtime, she still tearfully agreed not to have the pacifier. During the first few days, she would wake up a few times at nite and cry pitifully for pacifier (i call it "withdrawal symptoms"). But still i persisted.


We are now in week 2 of "pacifier-free" days, n it's mission accomplished... Phew!

33 mths' milestones

Ashley is definitely developing into her own little person. What's my darling like?

Ashley is sweet. A couple of times, she quietly came up behind me and massage my shoulders and ask "Mommi, got pain pain?" ( i gather tt's bcos she's seen me asking Alan to massage my shoulders.)

Ashley is patient. Even the teachers at JG praised her for it. She waits patiently for her turns at doing craft activities, washing hands, playing at playground. And she sometimes even halts me when i tell her to go ahead. :-)

Ashley is cautious, but willing to try given lots of encouragement. I noticed this whenever she's faced with challenges that she's not confident of doing, such as climbing boards, obstacles activities. Initially, she needs me to guide her, but subsequently she grows confident enough to do it on her own. (P/S: I like that my Ashley isn't reckless to plunge headlong into new activities, but instead observes, n reacts with caution.)

Ashley is asserting her own independence. There are just so many incidents to cite - dressing/undressing herself, choosing which videos she want to watch, which clothes/shoes to wear, what activities she wants to do.

Ashley is obedient (to a certain extent :-P). Most times, she's cooperative enough and listens to me, especially when i raise my voice and let her know i m serious. This is clearly evident during mealtimes when i tell her she must eat all the different types of food i place on her plate, be it fish, meat, veggies, rice, noodles, etc... Alan and my mil both tell me Ashley doesn't eat wat they tell her to eat... hmmm... this leads me to the next characteristic.

Ashley is a smart little cookie. Like most kids, she knows how and to whom to play out her cards. She knows i don't accept nonsense with her and so, she doesn't really try out her luck with me. But when it's Alan or my mil or other pple, she can be rather naughty too.

Ashley is more sensible and independent. I still remember abt 4-5mths back when i started on my new job. There was a time when i had a conference call at 9pm, which is her bedtime. I told her daddi will sleep with her first while mommi work and when mommi's work is done, i'll go in n be with her. She made a real fuss and cried so badly until Alan got real upset too. In the end, i couldn't join in the teleconference call and had to pacify her. 5 mths later, now, when i tell her i need to work, she will nod her head and tell me "Mommi work work done come sleep with Ashley, ok?"

Hmmm... it sounds like my Ashley is an absolute angel all the time, doesn't it? Of course not, she's still very much a little child, with her tantrums, her playfulness, her cheekiness, her naivete. She still makes me angry at times, especially when she whines (and Alan told me i m really really fierce when i scold her). But that's the beauty of it, isn't it - raising a child, moulding a person's character. There will be good times and there will be bad times. I love it. I love my Ashley.

The need for supplements - or not?

I noticed that alot of parents give supplements to their kids - mulitvits, scotts emulsion oil, omega fish oil, n lots more (some of which i dun even know it exists).

Since Ashley was a couple of mths' old, at the recommendation of her pd, we gave her Vit C+Zinc and Fish oil. Being a new mom, i didn't think too much, just relied on pd's expertise n gave those supplements. After Ashley started on porridge feed at abt 7mths' old, we kinda stop giving her fish oil. It wasn't done consciously, but more coincidentally as there were less frequent visits to the pd for vaccs n check-ups, so we didn't hv a chance to stock up. Anyway, at the back of my mind, i was thinking that Ashley has fish porridge almost every day, there shd be enough fish oil intake for her (but i didn't actually research on this!).

Thus, left only Vit C+Zinc which we did give her until she was around 1.5 ~ 2yo. At that time, Ashley has already been eating her daily 2 or at least 1 serving of fruits every day, plus yoghurt once or twice a week, so i thought there's really no need for her to take the supplement anymore.

And so, no more supplements for her.

I am sure there's really no need for her to take all those supplements that are being peddled in the pharmacies or even pds. She will get her nutrients from her food intake.

As my mantra goes, to each his own. We parents decide what's best for our kids.

Potty-training update

Whoopee!

Ashley is potty-trained! Think Ashley was already ready for the potty, bcos there weren't any real training anyway. Other than a drama-filled inaugural episode whereby Ashley peed n poo-ed in her panty, there were NO accidents at all! This nervous mommy here had psyched herself up for days n weeks of "accidents" at home whereby she'll go crazy with the cleaning up. And she bought at least 30 panties for Ashley on "standby". :-p

Ashley just had to be coaxed and encouraged to do her 1st business on the potty. Guess it helps too as her cousin (who is 2mths' older than her) had been using the potty for some time now (even tho she had a much more difficult time learning to use the potty). Ashley has her role model. And the rest... as the cliche goes "is history"...

At this point in time, I am still not prepared to let her do business in the public toilets yet, so for now, my darling will still wear her diapers when gg out / sleeptime. Baby-steps, baby-steps...


Afterthoughts: My Ashley is growing up, how time flies. I love carrying her, lightly tapping her diapered bottom. Watching her toddle here n there in her rounded diapered bottom. Now, as i carry her, and know tt she's not wearing diapers anymore, i kinda miss her diapered bottom (am i making sense here anyway???) . And weighing 12.9kg now, she's not exactly lightweight to be carried anymore. Soon, i won't even hv this luxury...

29 mths' milestones

Missed this one bcos i was so tied up wif my new job...

I'm just gonna mention a couple :

Language skill
- Ashley surprised me by asking me "What you want?". It happened like this. I was in the bedroom and called out to her to drink water. Ashley was in the living room then. She ran to the bedroom and blurted out "What you want?". I was pleasantly surprised and told her "Mommy wants you to drink water." She then parroted my words "Drink water ah." I nodded my head n she ran off. I walked out to see what she was doing and true enough, she was drinking water... :-)

I am now trying to introduce Mandarin to her. Trying to speak to her in Mandarin. Funny tho, i realise i inadvertently switch back to English... haiz... must persevere, dun wan her to reject Mandarin.

Motor skill
There's a step-climbing board in JG playground. A few weeks back, Ashley was climbing steps on this board. She was doing it rather slowly and vv carefully. A mommi in JG's class was rather surprised and asked me how old Ashley was. Later I saw her dd playing on the same board, but was vv adept in climbing up and down the steps. Her dd shd be a few months younger than Ashley. When i saw this, i then realised y she asked me that qn earlier. Blame it on us, the parents. We seldom let Ashley climb up and down the stairs when she was younger. Partly afraid she'll fall, partly worried she's block the people behind and lastly because we seem to be always in a rush. Since then, i've decided no more. Gotta let Ashley learn. It's ok if she's slow... we will match her pace... :-)

JG updates

The most significant change that i have noticed in Ashley these last couple of months is that she's now singing/humming to alot of kiddy songs, especially when sitting in the car and we play the CD. Even at home, she'll sing these songs out of the blue n forbid us from joining in. LOLz...

She also been enjoying herself at JG classes, even tho she does put up a token protest n tell me she does not want to go school. Particularly likes going to the outdoor playground n ride the cars there.

And I've also discovered that the saying "walk the talk" works! JG classes has sand play and water play on different weeks. And with me showing her how fun it is to play wif sand and water, she does join in n had a great time playing wif sand and water.

Also, she's improved leaps n bounds in listening n obeying to instructions. Now, after she's had her snacks, she will clear her own cup and saucer and bring it to the teacher. Also, she knows how to turn on/off the tap, wash/rub her hands, dry her hands wif tissue/hand towel.

Brave girl!

We brought Ashley for the Hep A booster jab at Prof Tan. Recalling Ashley crying the moment we entered Prof Tan's office during the last visit, I wanted to pre-empt Ashley, hoping it will help to get her mentally prepared for it. At the carpark, i told Ashley about going to see the doctor and that she needs to take an injection which is good for her. Could tell she understood by her anxious look, slight shaking and then nodding her head. And when Alan carried her, i could see Ashley was worried by the way she grabbed Alan's shirt collar so tightly. She didn't even return my smile or talk to me while walking to Prof Tan's clinic, which is also not the norm as she's usually vv chatty and smiley.

Pre-empting worked! Ashley, though quiet, tense and holding me tightly, didn't cry or protest while Prof Tan did his routine check. Ashley even obediently stood on the weighing machine for ht and wt measurement (Ht: 92cm , Wt: 12.6kg). And most of all, Ashley didn't cry during the injection. Both Prof Tan and his assistant were so impressed tt they keep praising Ashley and even gave her a teddy bear for being so brave. We too praised Ashley. And i believe encouragements and praises goes a long way to making her feel good and developing her confidence.

Her jabs are all finally completed! Yay! Good timing for us too, bcos Prof Tan is retiring this month. Prof Tan said the next jab would be when she goes to Primary School!

Temper tantrums

While Ashley was recovering from her bout of fever+cold, she was really cranky and whiny. Worse still, she threw alot of temper tantrums. A minor minor thing tt doesn't go her way would evolve into a major temper tantrum with her throwing her toys around, rolling on the floor, shouting/screaming, face turning puffy n red. And the main cause of her temper tantrum is asking me to carry her. She would want me to carry her all the time and this is just not possible as i hv chores to do. So when i don't accede to her demand or tell her to wait while i finish my chore, she would fly into a tantrum.

The first day we experienced that, we were very harsh on her, scolding and ignoring her and i made her stand in her noti corner. As i learned later, it was such a wrong reaction to the temper tantrums bcos Ashley had bad dreams that nite. And I knew it was related to the day's events bcos even in her dream state, she was crying out loud "妈咪，抱抱". No matter how much i comforted her, patted her, she just continued to whine n cry every 30mins or so, in her dream-groggy state. This lasted till abt 2am in the nite. By this time, she was fully awake due to the restless sleep she had. I comforted her n asked her whether she wants milk (as she drank vv little for her last feed). She nodded yes. So, i brought her to the living room. She finished the whole bottle of milk. And after tt, i asked her whether she wants to go to bed. She said no, so i carried her on my lap, sat on the sofa and sang softly to her. Until abt 3am, i asked her again if she wants to go to bed. She nodded yes. I patted her and she finally fell into comfort slumberland at about 3.30am.

The 2nd day was a repeat of the previous day's situation, making me question whether it's her TT stage, at the same time, hoping it's not. Then, i chanced upon a parenting show on TV which was discussing temper tantrums and how to deal with it. The bottomline i learnt from the parents and experts on the show was lots of TLC. So, wif tt in mind, i changed tactic n whenever Ashley displayed temper tantrum, i was vv patient with her (tho i had always hv to pinch myself not to snap at her :-p), talked and comforted her. Tt nite, she did make abit of mumbling in her sleep for a short while, but it was not the crying/whining kind. It stopped after a while n she continued sleeping until morning.

On the 3rd day, i was fearful tt the temper tantrums would continue. But it didn't. Ashley was back to her old self - cheery n playful. (keeping my fingers crossed!!!)

In retrospect, i think she was feeling lousy over the running nose and medicine we gave. It's a parenting lesson for me too. Not all temper tantrums need to be dealt harshly. Some tantrums occur bcos a child is not feeling well and rather than stern scoldings, a child needs TLC, lots of it.

P/S: I was very angry at Alan on the 1st nite bcos i was up most of the nite, comforting and caring for Ashley alone. My dear man there continued to sleep like a log. When i "interrogate" him a couple of days later, his answer was "Ashley doesn't want me." MEN!!! U can't live wif them, and U can't live without them!

Ashley's 1st day at JG

Big day today!

It’s Ashley’s 1st day at school (ok, ok, it’s only a once-a-week 2hr session comprising learning thru fun n play).

Needless to say, it's a MUST to capture all these on film (technically it should be memory stick. no?).

Ashley was all eager to go to school (think she doesn’t yet understand wat it really means). Anyway, tt’s good bcos I was afraid of any nasty (think wailing/fussing/running away/rolling on the floor/koala bear) scene whereby I’d need to forcefully (haha! Just kidding) pull her into class.

See her all smiley on the way to school...

In school, there was a little girl called Megan was doing just that (minus the running away/rolling on the floor). She was sticking to her mommi like a koala bear, n her face was all red n puffy from the crying. Had a brief chat wif her mommi n found out little Megan was 19mths’ old. Turns out my Ashley is one of the older and bigger babies in the class. Hah! At least I dun hv to worry she’ll b bullied in class! :-p

Ashley passed her 1st lesson with flying colours – no crying or koala bear, participated in all activities including playing toys, actions-accompanied singing, dancing, art-n-craft (ok, she wouldn’t touch the paint/glue, but she pasted the number pad on), story-telling, muppet-of-e-day, outdoor play (her favourite!) and snacks (except I didn’t let her eat the mini sausage).

Ashley impressed me by being confident enough to be alone while I need to go out of the classroom, twice – once to wash my hands of the paint, once to visit the washroom. Both times I told her vv clearly where I was going n tt I will be back later. Both times, she nodded her head n continued with her activities. And both times, I came back seeing her enjoying herself.

Teacher gave her tiny stickers n she was happily playing wif it (this was the 1st scene tt greeted me when i came back from washing my hands). See the kids n parents at the background, they were still busy wif the art-n-craft.

Enjoying her snacks of cornflakes, mini sausage, papaya (even tho she only ate the cornflakes).

Ashley having fun at the outdoor playground.

Ashley's 1st piece of craft. Ok, i helped her paint the purple glue on since she was adamant abt not getting her fingers dirty. She helped to paste the number pad on (even tho it's way crooked). Errmmm... can u all make out wat this craft is? It's a telephone ( Rring-Rringggg... ).

I had a scare just when lesson ended. Wat happened? I told Ashley to wait at a corner of the classroom for me while i went to the other corner to get her crafts from the drying rack. When i had gotten her crafts, i turned back and couldn't find Ashley at the corner where she was supposed to wait for me. It was rather chaotic then bcos alot of parents n kids were getting ready to leave the classroom. I looked 360 degrees but couldn't find her. Getting a bit frantic, i even walked to the door to peer out into the walkway to see if Ashley had wandered out. No sign of her. As i was getting desperate and wanted to ask a teacher to help me find her, i did a U-turn n saw my little darling just standing behind me. Guess she had followed me closely behind whererever i went. And being the little toddler, she wasn't in my line of vision at such close range, thus i couldn't see her until i did a U-turn n almost bumped into her. What a fright i had!

For Ashley's class, i noticed that both parents attended the lesson wif their child. Bcos it was the 1st session, the teachers gave special permission to allow both parents into the class (rule is 1 parent-1 child ratio). Hah! I told Alan to stay home n cook lunch for us, so there was piping hot fried rice waiting for Ashley n me when we got home. We were famished (at least i was! maybe shd suggest tt parents get a light snack too since the 2hr session is quite energy-sapping for us too! yeah rite! n then the sky-high fees will likely increase another $50???)

My Man

Proud of my man, uh-huh... tt's how i feel!

What did he do? Nothing much, just take care of Ashley all on his own for one whole day (technically it's 9am-6pm, while i m at work). Yep, mil had an appt, so couldn't look after Ashley. And, even b4 i knew it, my man had applied for leave... Yay!!!

Anyway, he bathed, changed nappies, made milk, fed meals, played and coaxed Ashley for naps...

All in a day's work!

Housewarming party at VP

Yesterday, the Chow family trooped off to Adeline's house for her party. Her home has a modern feel, though the quirkiness shows up once in a while, like a chandelier in the living room, four-poster bed in the master bedroom.

After the initial "shyness" (which lasted all of 20mins or so), Ashley warmed up n was back to her "old" self, playing with the chairs (she got a few verbal warnings from me abt dragging the chair, which will give u a "eeekkkk" sound. didn't want her to spoil Adeline's new flooring), dancing to the xmas tunes on TV. At one point, her playground extended to the floor. See?

A guy (think he was the boyfren of Alan's ex-colleague) at the same party commented tt Ashley is very active. I can only conclude he's definitely not seen "real action" yet! *evil grin*

Ashley was her usual cheery, playful self, n i had a great time playing wif her yesterday, while Alan was busy catching up wif frens.



After we left Adeline's house, we took a walk around the compounnd. The condo compound enclosure is huge, i counted at least 3 mini playgrounds (usually there's only 1). Ashley enjoyed hvg a stroll along the path. But alas, it started drizzling, so we only walked for a while before heading back to the carpark.

Co-sleeping

Since i sent my maid home in Mar this year, Ashley has been co-sleeping with us. Well, i did try to let her sleep in her own cot, in her own room ( bcos the cot is too big to be moved into our room ) for the first few nites. Neither she nor I got a decent nite's sleep bcos Ashley would wake up a few times throughout the nite, n i'll need to pat her back to sleep. On top of tt, i couldn't sleep a wink as i'll be peering into the baby monitor every few minutes to make sure she's alright.

Fed up of it all, i decided to move Ashley out of her cot n into our bed. End result? Both of us could finally enjoy a good nite's sleep. Ashley slept much better (waking up maybe once thru the nite, or not at all). As for me, i could finally sleep in peace ( tt doesn't sound rite. seems as if i died? ) as i no longer worried about Ashley being "alone" ( or not??? ) in her room or whether she's sleeping alrite. i like to simply gaze at her before i go to dreamland n always, i will rest my hand on her leg as i fall asleep (just to touch her).

Having said all these, i do hv misgivings about co-sleeping with a toddler. I worry whether she'll become dependent, clingy to me, whether it will hinder her character development (e.g. self-confidence, independence etc...). Recently though, i read a research by Dr. James McKenna, which overturns all the past held beliefs of the negativity effects of co-sleeping with babies/toddlers. So, who’s school of thoughts do you believe in?

Anyway, I m going to continue co-sleeping with Ashley. I love it too much to stop. So far, I don’t detect any “ill-effects” of co-sleeping.

Hate to think that there will come a day when she tells me that she’s too old to sleep with me n wants to sleep alone…

P/S: Alan told me few months back that he kena 3 slaps on the face from Ashley due to his accidentally putting his arm on her while asleep. Since then, I m convinced that my Ashley is no push-over… hehe, i had a real good laugh over it!… way to go, my princess!

25mths' milestones

It's a few days late... but well, here goes... wat is Ashley up to now?


Character Development
- She is getting more assertive of her wants and don’t wants. At times, it’s real fun to cho-cho her n see her getting all upset n stamp her little feet (usually Alan does tt). But, of cos, we get all frustrated when we are rushing for time and all her ‘’don’t wants” just make us more upset. The good thing is bribes work, such as bribes of going gai-gai, playing wif iphone, will usually ensure her 100% cooperation n even help in putting away her toys, bringing the tissue n what-nots for going out. (I m definitely enjoying it while it lasts… n keeping my fingers crossed tt it lasts as long as possible…)


Motor Skills
- It’s got to do with the hand, so I guess I’ll categorise it here. Ashley is now able to turn the door knobs at my mil’s place. The door knobs they have are the simple rounded kind, so I guess it’s easier to turn. As for my own house, it’s the long handle type, which needs more force to push down n open. As all kids are, Ashley has a “never-say-cannot” attitude. She’s trying everyday, turning the door handles and locks, seizing all opportunities she gets. We already have our spare keys ready…


Language Skills
- I never thot i’d say (technically it’s blogging) this, but Ashley is starting to speak Chinese with a “ang-moh” twang… it’s hilarious to hear when she say words like “起来”, “出去” with an English-accented sound.


Other skills
- Ashley can wear/take off her pants now. I’d blogged a couple of months back that she can wear both legs, but doesn’t know how to pull the pants up. Well, she knows how to do that now.
- She can put on/remove her Crocs too, not the simple slip-on kind, but a pair of crocling (pic as shown).

Don't get complacent!

I think i hv been taking for granted Ashley's "sick-free" days. As far as i can remember, she's hasn't been sick from the beginning of this year until now.

Yesterday, she starting coughing a little, n u can hear the phlegm inside.

No. of times she cough = No. of little tugs in my heart

No. of times she sounded raspy over the phlegm = No. of big tugs in my heart

She was still fine on Saturday. I racked my head to think wat could hv caused it. Mommi is the culprit (beat beat, beat beat!). On Saturday nite, we had fried pomfret with chilli. I washed it out in hot water n gave it to Ashley. Maybe it wasn't washed 100% clean of the chilli... tt's the ONLY thing i can think of that could hv caused the cough.

Yesterday afternoon, after Ashley woke up from her nap, i gave her her milk. Abt 1hr later, i thot she felt abit feverish. Took her temp, 37.7 deg C. Throughout the day, i had been constantly making her drink water. And i thot maybe it'd be good for her to eat some chilled rockmelon. Yep, Ashley loves it.

My little brave warrior won the fever battle. Upon taking further temp readings in the late evening, nite b4 gg to bed, in the middle of the nite, this morning, all showed between 36.9 - 37.3 deg C. She still is coughing a little tho, shall wait n see... Even though a lot of pple tell me it's vv difficult to get rid of phlegm in babies, i still think i'll wait a couple more days first, dun wan to start giving her med yet.

A little lesson for me, dun ever get complacent over my Ashley's health.

P/S: Just a litte cough and i oredi feel tugs in my heart, i really admire the strength of those parents who are gg thru hard times wif their little ones being down wif worse stuff...

All bcos of a tu-tu

Ashley had a serious crying episode last nite.

We had already settled in bed. I kept reminding her tt it's late oredi, go to sleep, mommi is tired, mommi is gg to sleep oredi. But she kept toking n toking n toking (example: ma-ma sleep sleep, ye-ye sleep sleep, gor-gor sleep sleep, xiao-gu sleep sleep, daddy take airplane, go ma-ma plc, go gai-gai, play wif rainie, etc....).

I was getting irritated that she's not winding down to sleep... but wat really riled me up was:

Ashley: Mommi, tu-tu...
Mommi: Take it yourself (the tu-tu is just placed beside her pillow for her convenience)
Ashley: Mommi, tu-tu...
Mommi: Ashley take
Ashley: Mommi take...
Mommi: Mommi want to sleep oredi. Ashley take.
Ashley: Mommi take...
Mommi: Ashley, Mommi said Mommi want to sleep oredi. Ashley take.
Ashley: Mommi take...

*BOOM*... the volcano erupted!

I was really mad then, 1stly bcos i was tired n sleepy, 2ndly bcos i know Ashley was just being cheeky.

I scolded her very harshly, n she cried...

I totally ignored her n let her cry. Her cries escalated until she was choking...

After ignoring her for 10mins or thereabouts, i started toking to her, albeit still in a very stern manner. I told her that mommi is tired n needs to rest and tt it's late oredi, she needs to sleep too. I also told her she's a big girl now, can take her own tu-tu, need not always get mommi to help.

Mommi: U understand what mommi is saying?
Ashley: Yes (nods her head)
Mommi: Ok (leans over to hug Ashley. And then, i cuddled her in my arms n spoken softly to her: Mommi loves u, deardear, even tho sometimes u r noti n make mommi angry.)

After this bout of crying, i was abit worried tt she'll hv a troubled sleep due to unsettled emotions. But surprisingly, she slept soundly throughout the nite.


Afterthoughts: On hindsight, maybe if i had just taken the tu-tu for her, everything would be ok. I needn't hv made a big fuss over this. Maybe... Anyway, the good thing is that these couple of days, she will always take her tu-tu whenever i tell her to. Was it bcos of that nite's episode or it just happened naturally? I dun know, but i m happy wif the way things turned out...

Having a nice nite out... (part 2)

After our nice dinner, we were doing some leisurely window shopping to walk off some extra calories we imbibed earlier.

There was a promotion in the optical shop n since Alan's spectacles are overdue for a change, we headed inside to check out the promotion. The optical shop very big n there was ample space for Ashley to run abt. As long as she didn't touch was she wasn't supposed to, didn't make a ruckus n didn't disturb others, i just let her be. hehe... i even played a couple rounds of hide-n-seek wif her. And one time, when she was running to catch up with Alan, she fell, all fours on the ground. I was behind her, but not near enough to catch hold of her. There was a kind sales guy who ran fwd to help Ashley. Ashley didn't cry, think she was shocked, rather than in pain. The floor was ceramic or tiles, so seeing how she fell, i don't think it hurt alot. Rather than baby-ing her, i just watched from behind. Sure enough, she just picked herself up n continued running towards her daddy.

Later, i did check out her kneecaps n palms to check for bruises or internal injuries. Seems everything is A-ok...

Toddlers learn from falling n picking themselves up... It's a very important lesson for them.

Having a nice nite out...

After the fiasco last Sat, i was in no mood to cook... Furthermore, Alan is flying out on Sunday so even less motivation to hit the kitchen n stove. Just feel like lazing around n relax, which we did.

On Saturday nite, we went to Suntec n had a fabulous dinner (complete with double-boiled soup) at Tang Dian Wang. (P/S: this is not a norm for us, as we usually hv dinners at home on weekends.) As usual, i asked for booth/sofa seat so that Ashley can play around on the sofa n need not be confined to a high chair.

Coincidentally, the families sitting around us were all 2 parents + 1 toddler ( around 2-3yo, same age group as Ashley). I counted 3 families. 1 family chose to let their son sit in a high chair. The little boy kept gazing at Ashley n looked so forlorn confined to a high chair, while Ashley was having a great time on the sofa (sometimes standing, sometimes sitting, playing wif the baby utensils set, sometimes toking n laughing wif me). The other 2 families opted to do the same as me, letting their toddlers sit on the sofa. The difference that struck me was that both of the toddlers sit obediently on the sofa to hv their dinner. Only Ashley was monkeying around. Hmmm... does that reflect bad parenting on Alan and me?

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Of cos not. Ashley was just hving fun on her own. She didn't create a ruckus and didn't make a nuisance of herself. And this is exactly how i want her to be - hving fun and enjoying herself. I guess each of us hv different parenting method. There's no 1 right or wrong method, we just hv to find the method that works for us.

Ashley had colic...

Nov - Dec 2006

My mommie’s recount VI: After the baby shower, my 4-weeks of confinement was finally over. And you can see tt my precious deardear is botak. My mil shaved off her beautiful baby hair the following Monday after the baby shower.

Oh ya, my mil will go back to her own home today. Suddenly, I was left all alone to take care of Ashley. Alan still has his overseas project in China/Malaysia and is often flying off on Sunday nite and back only the following Friday nite. The feeling that I was the sole caregiver for my month-old baby was daunting, but at the same time, immensely satisfying. Finally, I can have my baby all to my own. I was very very tired, body aches everywhere, eyes so dry and gritty tt it hurts to keep them open. Despite all these, I never once thot of asking for help. I just want to treasure the time with Ashley and give the best care and attention to her.

I bathed her every morning, give her milk milk, change her diapers, wipe her poo-poo, sing/rock her to sleep… I was happy, although I always look forward to Friday nite when Alan will be back, so that I can share my experiences with him…

It’s really no joke to take care of a newborn alone, especially I had no prior experience. No time to bathe, go toilet, eat, sleep… everytime, Ashley cries, I would be there for her.

My daily routine would be:

6~6.30am : Ashley would wake up and need my attention…
7am : Give her milk milk.
7.30am : Bring Ashley out to buy breakfast.
8am : Give Ashley her bath.
8.30am : Put Ashley on the bouncer and have my breakfast. If she dun wan, then I’ll carry her and have my breakfast at the same time.
9.00am : Rock her to sleep in the sarong. While she’s sleeping, I would go wash up the plates, Ashley’s clothes and then rest awhile on the sofa.
10am : Ashley wakes up and needs my attention. Will give her milk milk.
10am – 12pm : Play with Ashley.
12pm : Bring Ashley to buy lunch.
12.30pm : Back home. Give Ashley milk milk.
1pm : Take my lunch. Again, if Ashley does not want to sit in bouncer, I will carry her.
1.30pm: Rock Ashley to sleep in the sarong. Will try to sleep abit too.
2.30pm: Ashley wakes up and needs my attention.
3.00pm: Give Ashley milk milk. Play with her.
4.30pm: Give Ashley a full body wipe and change her clothes.
5pm: Tingkat delivery for my dinner.
6pm: Give Ashley her milk milk. Play with Ashley
7pm: Sing to Ashley to make her sleep
7.30pm: Ashley is asleep and I go take my bath.
8pm: Eat my dinner, sterilize the day’s milk bottles, watch tv.
9.00pm: call alan on his mobile, talk a while.
9.30pm: Give Ashley milk milk, while she’s sleeping.
10pm: I go to bed.
12.30am: Ashley cries, give her milk milk
3am: Ashley cries, give her milk milk
6am: Another day begins…

The above was my daily routine, until Ashley turns 6th week. On 1dec, it was a Friday evening, for no reason, Ashley started crying n crying hysterically… I panicked, not sure what had happened, whether did I hurt her accidentally or wat…

Anyway, to cut the story short, she had COLIC… my worst nightmare.
From then on, everyday, from 5pm-7pm (worst case was until 8pm), Ashley would cry n cry n cry non-stop. I tried all ways, still couldn’t soothe her. In the initial days, I did get frustrated and once I shook her abit. And straight away, I felt SO SO GUILTY and WORRIED that I had hurt her. Kept checking the internet on the shaking baby syndrome and monitoring her for symptoms… fortunately, I was just being paranoid… she was fine, and after tt one time, I could no longer get frustrated with her. Instead, I juz carried her and keep stroking her back for 2hrs. I cried along with her, on days when her crying was especially sad.

Ashley's colic went away when she was about 10weeks' old, lasted abt 4weeks.

On hindsight, I think my experience for the whole of my 2nd month of maternity where I was alone with Ashley, made me a stronger and better person. I handled a lot of baby crises, including her colic, alone. And I think it also strengthened my bond with my daughter.

I am glad I went through it