Cold Turkey for Ashley

I am not referring to the bird. I am talking abt subjecting Ashley to cold turkey treatment by banning her from pacifier-sucking.

It was our 1st visit at The Kids Dentist. During the initial Q&A where Dr Rashid wanted to find out more abt Ashley's history, habits, diet, etc, he'd confirmed that pacifier-sucking AFFECTs how the teeth are grown. "Some parents said it didn't hv any harmful effect on the way their children's teeth grew." - to this statement, Dr Rashid said it's not true. The most likely reason why it did not have any "so-called" harmful effect on the teeth development is bcos of the way the child sucks on the pacifier and the frequency of sucking.

Before checking on Ashley, he mentioned that he usually advises parents to stop their kids from pacifier-sucking latest by age 5, and that we shd also heed this advice. After checking on Ashley, he said Ashley's teeth development is rather badly affected by pacifier-sucking and we shd stop this asap. Hopefully after stopping, the teeth development will improve. He told me maybe it's not feasible to go cold turkey and would be better to set a deadline n allow the child to be mentally prepared for it.

Now that I know this, how can I still allow my Ashley to suck on pacifier? (internally, i likened this to allowing a person to smoke, while knowing smoking is harmfully). I couldn't do it the soft way, so I did it forcefully. I explained to Ashley many times over the day abt how her teeth would spoil if she continues to suck on pacifier (tt's the easiest explanation i could think of). Luckily, she understood and even though she put up a little fuss during naptime/bedtime, she still tearfully agreed not to have the pacifier. During the first few days, she would wake up a few times at nite and cry pitifully for pacifier (i call it "withdrawal symptoms"). But still i persisted.


We are now in week 2 of "pacifier-free" days, n it's mission accomplished... Phew!

Honey honey honey

At $50 bucks for a small bottle of organic honey, it's not cheap. But when i think of the goodness it has to my Ashley, there's nothing to it. And it doubles up as a cough "cure" for my girl too.

Last round of cough, it worked on my girl as u can read it here. Just last week, Ashley was coughing again - phlegmy cough. On some days, my girl was coughing badly in the nite n i had to give her some warm water to sip to sooth her dry n itchy throat. No medicine, u say? Well, let's just say i try my best to avoid giving cough mixture. Anyway, wat happened was that my honey ran out (hmmm... tt sounded funny??), and i wasn't abt to substitute it with those sugar-laden honey sold at the supermarts, so i had to wait till weekend b4 popping down to my regular store for honey. And after just 2 days of taking honey, Ashley's cough was 90% better, no more phlegm n just occasional cough here n there. On the 3rd day, she was "cured" completely. :-)

Co-sleeping

Since i sent my maid home in Mar this year, Ashley has been co-sleeping with us. Well, i did try to let her sleep in her own cot, in her own room ( bcos the cot is too big to be moved into our room ) for the first few nites. Neither she nor I got a decent nite's sleep bcos Ashley would wake up a few times throughout the nite, n i'll need to pat her back to sleep. On top of tt, i couldn't sleep a wink as i'll be peering into the baby monitor every few minutes to make sure she's alright.

Fed up of it all, i decided to move Ashley out of her cot n into our bed. End result? Both of us could finally enjoy a good nite's sleep. Ashley slept much better (waking up maybe once thru the nite, or not at all). As for me, i could finally sleep in peace ( tt doesn't sound rite. seems as if i died? ) as i no longer worried about Ashley being "alone" ( or not??? ) in her room or whether she's sleeping alrite. i like to simply gaze at her before i go to dreamland n always, i will rest my hand on her leg as i fall asleep (just to touch her).

Having said all these, i do hv misgivings about co-sleeping with a toddler. I worry whether she'll become dependent, clingy to me, whether it will hinder her character development (e.g. self-confidence, independence etc...). Recently though, i read a research by Dr. James McKenna, which overturns all the past held beliefs of the negativity effects of co-sleeping with babies/toddlers. So, who’s school of thoughts do you believe in?

Anyway, I m going to continue co-sleeping with Ashley. I love it too much to stop. So far, I don’t detect any “ill-effects” of co-sleeping.

Hate to think that there will come a day when she tells me that she’s too old to sleep with me n wants to sleep alone…

P/S: Alan told me few months back that he kena 3 slaps on the face from Ashley due to his accidentally putting his arm on her while asleep. Since then, I m convinced that my Ashley is no push-over… hehe, i had a real good laugh over it!… way to go, my princess!

HONEY works!

Remember a few days back, i said i wanted to try a natural remedy for Ashley's cough+phlegm. It's working! Ashley's phlegm is gone! Three cheers for HONEY!

She is still coughing abit, but we will continue to give her doses of honey (actually it's Alan who has been adding it into her milk bcos she doesn't want to drink it with the honey water).

Well, given my newfound knowledge of honey (and all it's "anti" properties...), it sure is gonna be a regular in Ashley's diet. Maybe i 'll try iced honey lemon juice or something yummy that Ashley will like. Gotta explore further.

Some websites that i read about the good effects of honey (of cos, there are more, but the references here are the more "authoritative" sites):

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/12/071203164750.htm

http://www.babyandparenting.co.uk/2006/10/12/kid-cough-home-remedy-honey/

http://www.babycenter.com/204_honey-beats-meds-at-soothing-kids-coughs_5225645.bc


A WORD OF CAUTION:
Even though there are a multitude of goodness in honey, it is a FORBIDDEN food to babies under 12mths of age. DO NOT EVER give honey to babies under 12mths of age. To be more "kia-su", start only when the baby is at least 18mths' old. Ever heard of infant botulism? That's one of the possible scary things that could happen if honey is given to a young infant.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-botulism/HQ00854

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/infantbotulismhoney.htm

http://www.medicineonline.com/articles/i/2/Infant-Botulism/Botulism-in-Infants.html

BPA

I just found out that Avent has recently introduced a new line of feeding bottles that's BPA-free. The official statement from Avent is that ALL their products are safe for use (see Avent on BPA).
And even though there's no official word that any of the feeding bottles out there are harmful, it kinda makes me wonder why Avent has come up wif a new product line that's BPA-free.

Since i found out about BPA early this year, i'd made the decision to change all my deardear's feeding bottles to BPA-free types (see archived post on milk bottles).

I am so glad i'd made this decision. Sometimes, we need to make our own decisions based on our own judgements n not wait till some official bodies declares it to be safe/unsafe. IMO, consumers r at the losing end of the battle. Most often times, we r the last to know...

P/S: These r purely my own thoughts are opinions. No offence to anybody.

Positive discipline + dealing with fears

(extracted this from Babycenter)
Positive Discipline tactics : I m fully in favour for this!

Positive discipline tactics
Disciplining your child doesn't mean punishing him; it means teaching him right from wrong. When you're faced with a situation that requires intervention, don't just think about how to reprimand your child. Instead consider how you can use the opportunity to help guide your child toward behavior that's appropriate. This isn't always easy, especially if you're angry, but by giving your child something positive to work toward, rather than just a negative to avoid, he'll be more respectful of you and others.


What you can do
Among the "positive" approaches that often work with toddlers:

• Do as I do. Children imitate adults, so if you show good behavior, your child will take your lead. If you want him to say "please" and "thank you," be sure to use those terms with him and others.
• Speak respectfully. Your child is more likely to listen if you talk, rather than yell, and if you make eye contact with him.

• Tell him what you want rather than what you don't. For instance, say "Touch the kitty gently," instead of "Don't hit the kitty!" Or, "Please sit down," instead of "Don't stand up in your chair."

• Make some simple rules. Establish a few household rules, communicate them to your child, and enforce them consistently. Don't expect your toddler to know better. Simple rules that protect health and safety, such as no running in the street and no hitting, are reasonable for toddlers to follow. Don't give him a long list of "don't touches." You're better off keeping things like the VCR and your fine crystal out of his reach.

• Reward the positive. Positive behavior will continue and even increase if your child gets attention for it. "Thanks for sharing that toy with your sister," is one example, or "Wow, you put your cup on the table."


Other developments:
New fears, banning biting, sticking to routines Your toddler's blossoming imagination can lead to a host of new fears now. Insects and water are two common ones. Don't try to talk your child out of his fears with statements like, "There's nothing to be afraid of; bugs can't hurt you." For starters, it's not true — some bugs bite and others are dangerous — and it dismisses your child's feelings. The best approach now is to acknowledge your child's fears and stay calm yourself. Say things like, "I know you don't like bugs. I'll move that one away from you." If you're afraid of bugs, too, resist the urge to screech and run away. Your toddler is watching your behavior carefully, and you could inadvertently set the stage for a lifelong fear. If water is the problem, you can encourage your toddler to dip his feet in at the edge of the ocean or pool, but don't force him. You want to keep his interactions with water pleasant.

Has your toddler started biting? Toddlers bite for a variety of reasons, and understanding why may help you put a stop to it. Some children bite because they're curious and wonder, "What will happen if I bite my friend?" Others bite when they are frustrated, are angry, want attention, feel threatened, or simply want to imitate something they saw a playmate do. Toddlers also tend to bite when they're teething, since the pressure of biting can relieve some of the pain of emerging teeth. If your child has a history of biting, you're probably aware of the situations that provoke it. If he bites out of anger or frustration, your job is to intervene before he gets to that point. Offer solutions to the problem. Saying things like "Here, let me find you a toy to play with" reinforces the rule that hurting other people is not okay.

Establishing — and sticking to — a schedule for napping, eating, and going to bed can help your toddler feel more secure and in control. Routines can also make your life easier. If your child knows what to expect every day, you'll probably encounter less resistance when it's time to transition from one activity to another. A regular way of doing things can also keep you from having to take time to plan each day separately.

Tantrums & how to deal with it

Extracted this from Baby Center... mighty useful to me...

Highlights Why it happens What to do

Why it happens
A temper tantrum is the emotional equivalent of a summer storm — sudden and sometimes fierce. One minute you and your child are in a restaurant enjoying your dinner, the next minute he's whimpering, whining, and then screaming at the top of his lungs because his straw is bent. Children between the ages of 1 and 3 are especially prone to such episodes.

Though you may worry that you're raising a tyrant, take heart — at this age, it's unlikely that your child is throwing a fit to be manipulative. More likely, he's having a meltdown in response to frustration. Claire B. Kopp, professor of applied developmental psychology at California's Claremont Graduate University, attributes much of the problem to uneven language skills. "Toddlers are beginning to understand a lot more of the words they hear, yet their ability to produce language is so limited," she says. When your child can't express how he feels or what he wants, frustration mounts.

What to do
Don't lose your cool. A tantrum is not a pretty sight. In addition to kicking, screaming, or pounding the floor, your toddler's repertoire may include throwing things, hitting, and even holding his breath to the point of turning blue. When your child is swept up in a tantrum, he's unlikely to listen to reason, though he will respond — negatively — to your yelling or threatening. "I found the more I shouted at Brandon to stop, the wilder he would get," says one mother of a 2-year-old. What worked instead, she discovered, was to just sit down and be with him while he raged.

Staying with your child during a tantrum is a good idea. Stomping out of the room — alluring as that may be — can make him feel abandoned. The storm of emotion he's going through can be frightening to him, and he'll appreciate knowing you're nearby. Some experts recommend picking up your child and holding him if it's feasible (i.e., he's not flailing too much), saying he'll find your embrace comforting. But others say it's better to ignore the tantrum until your child calms down, rather than rewarding negative behavior. Through trial and error, you'll learn which approach is right for your child.

Remember that you're the adult. No matter how long the tantrum continues, don't give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming toddler. It's especially tempting in public to cave in as a way of ending the episode. Try not to worry about what others think — anyone who's a parent has been there before. By conceding, you'll only be teaching your child that throwing a fit is a good way to get what he wants, and setting the stage for future behavior problems. Besides, your child is already frightened by being out of control. The last thing he needs is to feel that you're not in control either.

If your child's outburst escalates to the point where he's hitting people or pets, throwing things, or screaming nonstop, pick him up and carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Tell him why he's there ("because you hit Aunt Sally"), and let him know that you'll stay with him until his negative behavior stops. If you're in a public place — a common breeding ground for tantrums — be prepared to leave with your child until he calms down."

When my daughter was 2, she had an absolute fit at a restaurant because the plain spaghetti she ordered arrived with chopped parsley on it," recalls one mother. "Although I realized why she was upset, I wasn't about to let her disrupt everyone's dinner. I took her outside until she calmed down."

Talk it over afterward. When the storm subsides, hold your child close and talk about what happened. Acknowledge his frustration, and help him put his feelings into words, saying something like, "You were very angry because your food wasn't the way you wanted it." Let him see that once he expresses himself in words, he'll get better results. Say with a smile, "I'm sorry I didn't understand you. Now that you're not screaming, I can find out what you want."

Try to head off tantrum-inducing situations. Pay attention to what situations push your child's buttons and plan accordingly. If he falls apart when he's hungry, carry snacks with you. If he has trouble making a transition from one activity to the next, give him a gentle heads-up before a change. Alerting him to the fact that you're about to leave the playground or sit down to dinner ("We're going to eat when you and Daddy are done with your story") gives him a chance to adjust instead of react.

Your toddler is grappling with independence, so offer him choices whenever possible. No one likes being told what to do all the time. Saying, "Would you like corn or carrots?" rather than "Eat your corn!" will give him a sense of control. Monitor how often you're saying "no." If you find you're rattling it off routinely, you're probably putting unnecessary stress on both of you. Try to ease up and choose your battles. Would it really wreck your schedule to spend an extra five minutes at the playground? And does anybody really care if your tike wears mismatched mittens?

Watch for signs of overstress. Although daily tantrums are a perfectly normal part of the mid-toddler years, you do need to keep an eye out for possible problems. Has there been upheaval in the family? An extremely busy or harried period? Tension between Mom and Dad? All of these can provoke tantrums. If after the age of 30 months your child is still having major tantrums every day, talk to your doctor. If your child is younger than 30 months and has three or four tantrums a day and isn't cooperating with any routines, such as getting dressed or picking up toys, you also may want to seek help. Your doctor can make sure your child has no serious physical or psychological problems and suggest ways to deal with the outbursts. Also, talk to your doctor if your child has frightening breath-holding spells when he gets upset. There's some evidence that this behavior is linked to an iron deficiency.